21 Ways To Prepare For Fatherhood, From Parenting Experts
"Being a father is an incredibly special role. You are the first and most important man in your child's life," Shadravan tells mbg. A bit of forethought on all things parenting, both big and small, can help men prepare—physically, mentally, and emotionally—to become first-time parents.
Here are a few ways to start preparing for fatherhood, according to parenting experts and fathers themselves:
Read and research.
Until recently, the wealth of pregnancy and early parenting books out there spoke more to the woman's experience, but nowadays dad books are becoming more common.
Be actively engaged in the pregnancy.
Immerse yourself in the pregnancy journey, Shadravan advises. "Invest time and interest in the pregnancy, be curious about the process, and engage with your partner. The early days are important and set the tone for how interested and engaged you will be when your baby arrives. Each developmental stage is full of wonderment and tremendous growth. Be present, observe, engage, and nurture."
Try to go to all doctor's appointments, especially the visit when you get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Ask questions about your baby's development and the pregnancy stages. Discuss delivery options and birth plans, help pack the hospital bag, and learn how to hold a newborn. Enjoy the process—use it to bond with your partner and your soon-to-be-born child.
"Being a father is an incredibly special role. You are the first and most important man in your child's life," Shadravan tells mbg. A bit of forethought on all things parenting, both big and small, can help men prepare—physically, mentally, and emotionally—to become first-time parents.
Here are a few ways to start preparing for fatherhood, according to parenting experts and fathers themselves:
Read and research.
Until recently, the wealth of pregnancy and early parenting books out there spoke more to the woman's experience, but nowadays dad books are becoming more common.
- Stay-at-Home Dad
- We're Pregnant! The First-Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook
- Talk With Her: A Dad's Essential Guide to Raising the best parenting books, too.)
Of course, there's no need to limit yourself to books. There are also podcasts, Facebook groups, blogs, websites, and YouTube channels chock-full of information. Pick the ones that don't make you feel overwhelmed or guilty. You can also attend prenatal and antenatal classes or work with a parenting coach to get more hands-on education.
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Be actively engaged in the pregnancy.
Immerse yourself in the pregnancy journey, Shadravan advises. "Invest time and interest in the pregnancy, be curious about the process, and engage with your partner. The early days are important and set the tone for how interested and engaged you will be when your baby arrives. Each developmental stage is full of wonderment and tremendous growth. Be present, observe, engage, and nurture."
Try to go to all doctor's appointments, especially the visit when you get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Ask questions about your baby's development and the pregnancy stages. Discuss delivery options and birth plans, help pack the hospital bag, and learn how to hold a newborn. Enjoy the process—use it to bond with your partner and your soon-to-be-born child.
Considering working with a therapist or coach.
Whether you had a great relationship with your dad or there was room for improvement, your own childhood will likely affect the way you show up as a father. "Fatherhood is a mirror, like any relationship, so your personal baggage will be brought to light," says La Guardia Cross, a popular fatherhood-focused YouTuber and father of two young girls. "Don't be scared—you can work through it as you go. Some baggage you won't even know you're carrying until you become a father, but that's OK. Fatherhood gives you the opportunity to grow."
If your childhood was traumatic or complicated, or if the thought of parenting just makes you anxious, know that you are not alone in having an emotional reaction to the prospect of parenting. Before the baby comes is a great time to recognize and work through these feelings. It can be helpful to work with a therapist who can help you unpack your experiences (past and present) and learn healthy ways to manage the stress and difficulties that inevitably come with parenthood.
"Being a father is an incredibly special role. You are the first and most important man in your child's life," Shadravan tells mbg. A bit of forethought on all things parenting, both big and small, can help men prepare—physically, mentally, and emotionally—to become first-time parents.
Here are a few ways to start preparing for fatherhood, according to parenting experts and fathers themselves:
Read and research.
Until recently, the wealth of pregnancy and early parenting books out there spoke more to the woman's experience, but nowadays dad books are becoming more common.
Here are a few to consider:
- The Expectant Father
- Caring for Your Baby and Young Child
- The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad
- We're Pregnant! The First-Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook
- Talk With Her: A Dad's Essential Guide to Raising Healthy, Confident, and Capable Daughters
(Here's mbg's roundup of the best parenting books, too.)
Of course, there's no need to limit yourself to books. There are also podcasts, Facebook groups, blogs, websites, and YouTube channels chock-full of information. Pick the ones that don't make you feel overwhelmed or guilty. You can also attend prenatal and antenatal classes or work with a parenting coach to get more hands-on education.
Be actively engaged in the pregnancy.
Immerse yourself in the pregnancy journey, Shadravan advises. "Invest time and interest in the pregnancy, be curious about the process, and engage with your partner. The early days are important and set the tone for how interested and engaged you will be when your baby arrives. Each developmental stage is full of wonderment and tremendous growth. Be present, observe, engage, and nurture."
Try to go to all doctor's appointments, especially the visit when you get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Ask questions about your baby's development and the pregnancy stages. Discuss delivery options and birth plans, help pack the hospital bag, and learn how to hold a newborn. Enjoy the process—use it to bond with your partner and your soon-to-be-born child.
Considering working with a therapist or coach.
Whether you had a great relationship with your dad or there was room for improvement, your own childhood will likely affect the way you show up as a father. "Fatherhood is a mirror, like any relationship, so your personal baggage will be brought to light," says La Guardia Cross, a popular fatherhood-focused YouTuber and father of two young girls. "Don't be scared—you can work through it as you go. Some baggage you won't even know you're carrying until you become a father, but that's OK. Fatherhood gives you the opportunity to grow."
If your childhood was traumatic or complicated, or if the thought of parenting just makes you anxious, know that you are not alone in having an emotional reaction to the prospect of parenting. Before the baby comes is a great time to recognize and work through these feelings. It can be helpful to work with a therapist who can help you unpack your experiences (past and present) and learn healthy ways to manage the stress and difficulties that inevitably come with parenthood.
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Visualize being the dad you want to be.
It can be easy to think that you'll never be as good a dad as your role model or the sitcom dad on your favorite show. Take some time to reassure yourself that you'll be a fantastic dad, in your own personalized way. Visualize what that would look like for you. What kinds of activities are you doing? Where do you and the kid(s) hang out? What are the moments you never want to miss?
If those prompts aren't working, try to picture your child as an adult. What would you want them to say about you? Focus on the lessons you want to impart, the guidance and love that you want to give. Think of your role in relation to your partner's and how can you complement each other.