5 ways a parent should handle a child’s lack of playing time

 For our family, things were different the last two years as Bradley, with a new head coach, blossomed into the team’s starting center. Playing time was no longer an issue, but it was for other kids on the team, and there were parents who were not happy about it.

Obviously, I could relate to what happened, but there’s a right way to handle it and a wrong way.

Two seasons ago, there was a game when a player kept coming in and out of the game. At one point, he came in for one play and came right out and started to cry. The father, who was on the chain gang, ran over to console him and started screaming and cursing at the coach for what happened. The child’s grandfather, sitting in the stands, was also giving the coach a hard time, and this was all taking place while our team’s offense was trying to run a play.

The commotion was so loud that the coach had to burn a timeout to settle everybody down. The screaming and yelling back and forth was unfortunate and unnecessary as it made things uncomfortable for everyone, including the kids.

Regardless of why your child is not getting a lot of playing time, here are five things concerned parents can do without making spectacles of themselves:

1. Talk to the head coach: That’s “talk” to the head coach, not “scream” at the coach. You get more flies with honey. Don’t do it before or after a game. Emotions are too high for a chat at that time. During the week, try to arrive at practice with your child a few minutes early and see if you can chat privately with the head coach about the situation. Don’t go to the assistants or anyone else with the program. That can only make things worse.

2. Reassure your child: It’s tough for parents to sit through a game and not see their children on the field very often. It’s even tougher for the player, especially at a young age. If your child is discouraged about a lack of playing time, try to keep their spirits up. Assuming the head coach hasn’t brought up any issues, tell your child how proud you are, and try to keep their head in the game. Encourage your child to work hard at practice and make it difficult for the coaches not to notice them.

3. Check the rulebook: Some leagues require a minimum number of plays that a player must take part in during the course of a game. Find out if your league has that rule, and keep track of how many plays your child is on the field. If you feel that they're not taking part in the appropriate number of plays, bring it to the head coach’s attention.

4. Talk to other parents: Chances are your child isn't the only one on the team who's not getting a lot of playing time. If it’s upsetting you, look around, because there could be other parents in the stands feeling the same way. If there are other families who share the same concerns, perhaps you can talk with them and schedule a group meeting with the head coach. The important thing is not to let things get contentious

5. Practice, practice, practice: There’s a lot going on in the life of a child - school, family and outside commitments. So it can be hard to have 100 percent attendance at football practices or even games. I’ve seen parents who thought it wasn’t that important to get to practices. That’s just nonsense. Try to get your child to as many practices as possible. I always believe in the saying “out of sight, out of mind.” Practice is important for many reasons, especially when it comes to making an impression on the coach.